


list of things you should never do if you want to be on good terms with Lee Seung-gil

by kiazareni



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Fluff, Getting Together, Humor, M/M, POV Lee Seung-gil, Phichit is scared and Seung-gil saves him basically, based on a tumblr prompt, oneshots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-30
Updated: 2017-07-30
Packaged: 2018-12-08 21:52:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11655450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kiazareni/pseuds/kiazareni
Summary: ...and how Phichit keeps doing them.Based on the tumblr prompt: "things you said when you were scared"“So, the thing is, there is this uh, situation in my room.” Seung-gil fights the urge to raise an eyebrow, trying not to give the impression that he cares. “Actually, it’s in my bathroom. Would you please come with me?”





	list of things you should never do if you want to be on good terms with Lee Seung-gil

**Author's Note:**

> Title was chosen because I might add other chapters later, crossing things off of Seung-gil's list.

There are some things that you should never ever do if you want to be on good terms with Lee Seung-gil. For example, don’t ever mention his junior years in front of him or start a debate whether or not pineapple belongs on a pizza. It’s a long list, really and it might even explain why people aren’t exactly lining up to befriend him but that’s not important right now. What’s important is what sits on top of that list, which is this:

Never ever wake him up in the middle of the night.

It’s the last day of NHK Trophy and Seung-gil wakes up in the middle of the fucking night. He takes a second to contemplate if he would still be allowed to skate after murdering whoever is knocking on his door, but his feet ache and sleep starts pulling him right back in, so he tries ignoring the sound and closes his eyes again. Maybe whoever wants to bother him will go away.

The knocking gets louder and quicker, and Seung-gil considers the idea of murder again. He’s almost curious though, because he can’t think of anyone who could possibly have something to say to him, like at all, but especially not at 2 am after a competition. He gets out of bed and drags himself over to the door, opening it up and getting ready to throw the other person down the stairs.

On the other side, there is a very distressed Phichit with his hair sticking up everywhere, wearing a white t-shirt and pyjama bottoms. Seung-gil notes that there are drawings of hamsters on the pants but doesn’t quite know what to do with this information. He moves to shut the door in his face and Phichit throws his hands out, eyes wide, panic written on his expression.

“Wait, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, but you have to help!” Seung-gil stops at that, glaring at him. He doesn’t say anything and for some reason Phichit takes it as an encouragement to keep talking. “I’m, well, you see, um… “

Seung-gil stares at him, and wonders what the hell Phichit wants. Even if the building was on fire, he would consider going back to sleep.

His silence doesn’t seem to bother Phichit at all as he starts babbling.

“So, the thing is, there is this uh, _situation_ in my room.” Seung-gil fights the urge to raise an eyebrow, trying not to give the impression that he cares. “Actually, it’s in my bathroom. Would you please come with me?”

Well, now he raises an eyebrow.

“No,” he says but he doesn’t try to close the door again, because whatever got Phichit to look so scared actually sparked his curiosity.

See, Phichit had this ability. Ability being, that you take one look at him and you kind of just want to put him in a box to protect him from everything that’s bad in this world. Like right now, when there is a silent plea in his eyes, desperate and hopeful and the corners of his lips are turning downwards, his fingers are nervously wrinkling the hem of his t-shirt and Seung-gil knows that he is definitely, utterly _screwed_.

He sighs and glares at Phichit as he steps out of his room, pulling the door shut behind him.

“What is it?”

Phichit takes a deep breath. “There’s a spider in my bathtub.”

Seung-gil silently counts to ten but the question is out before he can really think it through.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” He turns back towards the door but then Phichit’s hand is on his arm, keeping him there.

“No, wait! It’s a big ass spider, seriously and I have this phobia and I can’t sleep because I _know_ it’s there, please, it’s just five minutes. Seung-gil, please.” His eyes widen a bit when he sees that Phichit is downright shaking and looks like he could start crying any second now and that’s when he decides to give in. For one, he has absolutely no idea what to do with him once he starts crying and two, the word phobia hangs in the air between them and Seung-gil remembers how much he hates swimming. He remembers the illogical fear that took over his mind during that one summer vacation with his family, when he panicked in the water and almost drowned, unable to breath properly and keep his head up, his chest tight and his heart racing. He’s lucky though, the sea and the ocean are fairly easy to avoid. You definitely won’t come across either of those in the middle of the night in your bathroom.

He huffs, eyes dark as he motions Phichit to get moving. 

 

 

Phichit was right. It _is_ a big ass spider.

But Phichit also looks at him with huge, hopeful eyes and his cheeks are pink, his hair is tousled and sticks up on the back of his head and Seung-gil just wants to reach out and smooth it down because it annoys the fuck out of him.

He eyes the unwanted visitor chilling in the bathtub and well. He can’t just turn around and leave now, can he. He puts on a brave face which basically looks like his regular one and turns to Phichit.

“Get me a piece of paper and a cup.”

He opens the bathroom window while keeping an eye on the spider and Phichit hurriedly leaves the room, grateful for the opportunity to get away. When he returns, his hands are shaking and he retreats to the corner, hugging himself as he observes the bathtub.

“Seung-gil, you’re saving my life,” he comments, “you’re my hero.”

Seung-gil snorts. “The flowers can wait until that bastard is outside.”

He kneels beside the tub and places the paper right next to the spider.

“I call him JJ,” Phichit says suddenly and Seung-gil’s eyebrows shoot up.

“ _What?_ ”

Phichit looks small in the corner but he shrugs with a tiny smile on his face.

“He also makes me want to leave the room when he appears.”

There is a strange sound coming out of Seung-gil’s mouth and he’s mortified when he realizes that he just laughed out loud. He can’t help it though, because this was so not how he imagined Phichit, the bright, happy, cheerful Phichit who loves everyone and sees the best in people, roasting JJ like that.

He nudges the spider with the edge of the paper and when it moves, Phichit makes a small, whiny sound behind him. JJ steps on the paper with all eight of his disgusting legs and Seung-gil lifts it ( _him?_ ) up, stands ready with the cup but then a ridiculous idea strikes him and he pauses.

It’s not like him at all, but then again, neither is getting up in the middle of the night to hunt a spider named JJ in Phichit Chulanont’s bathroom so he doesn’t dwell on it. He raises his hand up above the sink, facing the mirror.

“Hey, Phichit,” he murmurs and he doesn’t look at him because then he might realize what the fuck he’s doing and he doesn’t want to think about it. JJ is standing still on the paper and probably wonders how the hell he ended up there when Seung-gil starts singing quietly. “ _I look in the mirror, the king looks back at me…_ ”

Phichit bursts out laughing and it’s like the sun is shining in there at 2 am. Seung-gil has to turn to look at him which results in him getting distracted for a second, and before he can stop it from happening, the spider is sliding off the paper right in front of Phichit’s feet.

The laughing turns into a high-pitched shriek and Phichit glues himself to the wall as tight as he can, expression morphing into terrified and close to crying in a split second. Seung-gil drops to his knees with record speed and ignores the pain in his ankles.

“Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, I’m gonna die,” Phichit is breathing hard and Seung-gil tries to get the spider to climb back on the paper. “I’m gonna die here before I medal at the Olympics, and I will never get married and get four dogs and sixteen hamsters and oh my god, Seung-gil, please tell my mom I loved her.”

“Shut up you’re not gonna die,” Seung-gil says without looking up. The damn spider doesn’t want to sit on the paper again, it kind of refuses to move like it can smell fear and enjoys scaring the shit out of people.

“If this is the last time we ever speak,” Phichit goes on and shuts his eyes, sinking back into the wall, “I want you to know that I always thought you were really hot and if there’s an afterlife I will regret not asking you out forever, oh my god, it just moved, _it moved_ ,” Seung-gil finally gets JJ to move towards the paper again and slams the cup over the spider as soon as possible. He turns and throws the paper out of the window, shaking the cup a few times just to make sure it doesn’t stay in there and gives them another heart attack.

Well, not them, just Phichit. Seung-gil can proudly say that he didn’t once lose his cool during the whole process.

Speaking of Phichit.

“Wait, _what?_ ”

“I said thank you for saving my life?” he offers weakly and breathes in deep, clenching his fists at his side. “Is it gone?”

“Yes,” Seung-gil assures him first because priorities, but then he frowns and gets to the point. “You think I’m hot?”

Phichit’s cheeks turn into a funny red shade and honestly, it’s endearing. Seung-gil mentally punches himself in the face because there are words on the tip of his tongue, words like _cute, adorable_ and _holy shit yes_.

“Um, yes?”

He leans closer to Phichit, narrowing his eyes and crossing his arms.

“Ask me out, then.”

“Uh…” Phichit stares at him for a moment and Seung-gil thinks maybe he misread the situation and by _yes_ , Phichit actually meant _ew, no_. And then he’s talking again, voice quivering and eyes bright, straightening up as he pushes himself away from the wall. “Seung-gil, will you go on a date with me?”

Seung-gil is pretty sure he accidentally ate butterflies for dinner and they came back to life in his stomach. His eyes flicker down to Phichit’s lips and he leans back, clearing his throat.

“Yes,” he says. Phichit answers with a huge smile and miraculously he doesn’t talk, just tilts his head down, embarrassed and awkward, and so goddamn cute that Seung-gil feels like he would fight fifty more spiders right then and there if it meant keeping that smile on Phichit’s face. “I’m going back to sleep, text me tomorrow.”

Only when he’s back in his own room does he remember that list he keeps in his head. _Huh_ , he thinks, half asleep already. Fine, he let Phichit wake him up and didn’t actually kill him.

But he draws the line at the pineapple on pizza discussion.

**Author's Note:**

> That's it! Huh. I haven't really written anything that's not otayuri so I hope you guys liked it. Also, this was based on a tumblr prompt, written with no beta or like... an actual plan or anything, so um, be kind?
> 
> +1: also, i feel the need to mention this, but to anyone who loves JJ: i'm so sorry, i don't actually hate him that much


End file.
